Arthritis, Alba and All

Now how much do I say…….

At the moment the UK is locked in the most horrendous child abuse revelations….. the news is full of it (as it should be actually) and at last some justice might get done….

However…..

I was a very abused and neglected kid and the news has this downside…. Memories long locked away do have this tendency to re-surface….. I was interviewed about a historical case a while ago and at that interview I realised I was abused in another case as well… came as a shock and as ever it brings the deep inside shame that just never goes away.

Its triggered the flare I think, something has anyway and that combined has kinda floored me….. I keep feeling this wave of absolute shame and its just gets hold of me deep down and renders me back to a defenceless child if any of that makes sense?

Its not what the blog is for but I just had to mention it… well yell it I guess….

Right the neighs have all but gone 🙂 The mud has got so bad and the break-ins of the sheep shed were becoming an issue lol. It was also becoming a bit scarce of grass time and well its good to just have….. Flower and Phoenix 🙂 They are special but I have not got the feeling for the baby as I had for Primmy cus I realise now the rule of never getting fond of someone else’s animal is best not broken eh?

The girls….. oh they are just so lovely and thinking about it we have saved 6 here from meat! Mind Bre said she was expensive lol. Before these there were 7 others so I think I have paid my debt to my old friend Bengie…. Oh he was lovely and even came walks with us.

No point saying I know what happened to him……Its so obvious but these will never go the same way!

Right rambling away and only half a brain to use lol. The one I haven;t got and the circulation are acting up as well as the swollen fingers and the aches and pains lol. Age was never  going to be a friend lol.

Took these the day before they left and they are only over the village so I still see them but don’t have them making mud everywhere lol.

and he still has fluffy ears lol!

They re a like you know….

then guess who spooked her lol

That is your girl Elna and the rest are just so lovely as well lol.

She isn’t 100% sure about the sheep just now but today… She was talking to Wish and was happy about it all. Wish her self is now on  a high dose of meds… when they stop working … lets not go there eh?

She is a nice little filly actually and so like her brother from last year….. She certainly carries the name Phoenix well 😉

and finally… at last… he did something right lol

Right the cats are massing… with their bowls and bibs lol. Best go feed them otherwise they might get nasty lol.

You all take care. x

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Comments on: "Life Isn’t Always easy eh……" (11)

  1. So sorry that the current news is affecting you so badly. I think that the media isn’t really handling it with much sensitivity to be honest. If you can, try and remember that the shame is not yours but belongs to the people who have treated you so badly. You are innocent.

    I hope your flare passes soon.
    Lovely photos, as ever. They always put a smile on my face. 🙂
    R

    • Hi and nice to see you again. Oh flower I don’t think they have got a lot of sensitivity really but it does need to be said and sorted and maybe the media will help do that for those effected in the savile case?

      I just find it an open sore really that just doesn’t seem to close but have applied for some more counselling and that might be a good thing in the end….. I hope lol.

      The flare is relentless and yet I am less tired so it must be waning now eh?

      These will be pleased they made you smile as they like to know that 🙂 Leaving you a ((( ))) and a hope./ Cris x Thanks also for telling me its not my shame… for me thats the worst part and I will learn it isn;t I promise

  2. Barbara said:

    Oh Cris my love, I am sorry all this awful news is effecting you like this (((())) thanks for the lovely pics..I do look forward to them xx

    • Its all in your face just now isn;t it? I t does need to be though as those in the wrong should be exposed…… See I am trying 😉

      They said they couldn’t have pic’s taken today as its been so dark even in the fields at noon I would have needed a flash.

      Hope your warm there and shall go feed that screaming lamb…. is she a lamb now mind lol. Hugs and thanks my friend xx

  3. The way media and the system handle these kind of cases is generally disgusting and extremely insensitive, I’m sorry to hear that is affecting you.
    Elna is just too cute, Doggy would have fun with her and get some kicks too.

  4. Hiya Cris,

    I’m sorry to hear about how upset you are by resurfacing memories. Abuse recovery is so difficult. It seems like we move in a spiral, always coming back to the same place. But I like to think each time something resurfaces, or is triggered, I am seeing and feeling the same thing but from a different, safer perspective. Not sure if that makes sense. Anyway counseling sure does help me through the rough patches. Also seems to me that abuse and PTSD survivors suffer from pain issues too…seem to go hand in hand. One can flare up the other.

    Critters are great for us…life is better with them in it no matter how bad the day or week is. That babe is too adorable 🙂

    Hang tight and ride this wave!!!

    Hugs,
    Nanina

    • Oh its a odd one cus it never really goes away… mind this time… more counselling lol.

      If you see this I hope the storm has been ok there and thinking of you Cris x

  5. It is quite shocking news, the scale of it is staggering. I hope you feel better again soon.
    Lovely photos!

    • Oh Clowie the scale is quite something… all those people who kept quiet.. though I do understand why some did…

      Lets hope its a one off eh?!

      Hope you haven’t been in another river 😉 x

  6. Dear Cris

    I have written a reply twice and then lost it when I have had to sign in. My heart goes out to you – it must be horrenduous for you with all that was/is in the news and it would bring all the nightmare memories back for you. I did not watch Panorama as I have heard far too much about it. I am sure all that would trigger a flare. You poor love. I do hope that you are feeling at least a little better than you have been doing.

    Evelyn looks as gorgeous as ever as all the animals do. It is not raining in those piccies either.

    You are a lovely person, do not forget that and I am so happy that I met you this year and your brood. 😉

    Love and gentle giant hugs
    Elna x

    • Elna my friend the past seems to never go too far away but its getting easier cus for once I have said lol. I contacted the people that can help and well may be this time it will be dealt with and boxed for good?

      Hey we are getting endless rain fr the next few days but maybe dry at the weekend for the sale… can hope eh lol. Hugs and a hope your ok? xx

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